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Thrift Shop Horrors

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In your mind, you are free [Oct. 19th, 2010|10:26 pm]
Thrift Shop Horrors


Just 2 major horrors today.

This painting was almost 4 foot tall. There is so much to say about it.

If you can reach the key glued to your head, you can get free.
Is that lock attached to anything other than the chains?
If this is what it takes to stop your chronic masturbation, we'll do it.
Fetish? No! It's a statement about my people!
Shouldn't the keyhole be on his head and the key... nevermind...
What is he looking at?
I like how the reflection of the lights adds dramatic flair.
He's got little feet, and you know what they say about foot size.
Looks like he could just slip those tiny feet out of there.

This poor doll breaks my heart. She has such a beautiful face, yet her legs and head are smashed.
Maybe she fell afoul of the doll mafia.
So old, yet still turning heads.
I hope someone sees her potential and makes her lovely again. The face and arms were fine. Put a long dress on her and a bonnet and she'll be fine.


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From: romani123
2010-10-20 02:34 am (UTC)
The doll could be saved but would need a lot of work.
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[User Picture]From: sailorangei
2010-10-20 04:43 am (UTC)
Might depend on how. If the body was a total wash you could always find/make a replacement. I'd do some research to see if she's worth a lot as is or in cleaned up condition, but if she's a no-name random porcelain doll then I'm sure just finding new legs and adding her head and arms to another body of your choice wouldn't be that hard. <3
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[User Picture]From: reqbat
2010-10-20 02:39 am (UTC)
oh my god that first thing. i can't/
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[User Picture]From: evil_little_dog
2010-10-20 03:05 am (UTC)
I'd buy that doll for my Mom. She'd love her.

The first painting....
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[User Picture]From: ladymalchav
2010-10-20 03:22 am (UTC)
That is the most perfect behind-the-bathroom-door painting I've ever seen!
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[User Picture]From: fallconsmate
2010-10-20 03:28 am (UTC)
oh, you are EVIL!!! (i like that.)
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[User Picture]From: godlessmachine
2010-10-20 03:29 am (UTC)
That painting. What is this I don't even
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[User Picture]From: brunettepet
2010-10-20 04:06 am (UTC)
What decor would that painting ever hope of working in? I'd be completely in awe of a designer that could design around it. I think there should be a show on HGTV that incorporates Thrifthorror finds!

Oh, that poor doll makes me so sad. She's so beautiful and broken and her hand on her thigh, resting like she's still the lady of the manor...
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[User Picture]From: ms_hissyfit
2010-10-20 09:30 am (UTC)
Honestly, I think you have the making of a great show there. Something like "Ready, Steady, Cook" for interior designers - contestants would have to bring the three most horrible thriftstore finds and then the designers would have to make up a room around those.
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[User Picture]From: mistcat
2010-10-20 07:37 pm (UTC)

Re: the painting...

I think he's supposed to be bending his knees but the artist didn't use shadow and light correctly to convey that, so it looks like his lower legs are misproportioned.
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[User Picture]From: macaroni_king
2010-10-20 04:44 am (UTC)
When I saw the amazing picture I thought of it as some Sawesque torture device. The ultimate stop hitting yourself device.

The lock piece is actually a special mechanism that is attempting to retract all the chains. Each of his feet and arms are constantly being pulled towards the center, which would make him strike himself in the wiener.

The chain around his neck is trying to retract so his head would be near his crotch and anyone seeing him would assume he was trying to perform self fellatio, this would be very embarrassing so he is attempting to keep his head up.

Of course all of this is chained to the ground so the onlookers can get a good view.
This device is meant to teach this proud strong man the meaning of humility and cure him of his homophobia. Only by manipulating a lock with his face near his own wiener will he be free. He will realize that he did not suddenly turn gay, and just because a wiener may be near your face at some point, does not make you a bad person.

Unless of course he wants to punch/kick his junk into oblivion.
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[User Picture]From: faylinn_drake
2010-10-20 06:29 am (UTC)
"which would make him strike himself in the wiener."

I'm still laughing.
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[User Picture]From: tresjolie9
2010-10-20 05:14 am (UTC)
Dolls with broken body parts, I've always felt bad about throwing them out. If a person had no legs, they would get a wheelchair...

I always wanted to get dolls like that wheelchairs when I was little and not throw them out. Put that doll in a beautiful dress, and too bad doll wheelchairs aren't more readily available!

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[User Picture]From: f_i_x_m_e
2010-10-20 05:45 am (UTC)
That painting.
I don't even know what to say.
A+ commentary though. XD

When I was scrolling down the page, I swear the doll's eyes moved.
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[User Picture]From: fifteensixty
2010-10-20 09:27 am (UTC)
Looks like a particular "artist" has trouble with feet because they've spent years practising how to draw SUPER-RIPPED ABS.
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[User Picture]From: blogtodiffer
2010-10-20 10:03 am (UTC)
I *think* the idea behind the painting has got to be something like, "The key to the black slave's freedom is his mind."

It is, perhaps, not the best illustration of the concept.
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[User Picture]From: akirashima
2010-10-20 10:22 am (UTC)
I want that painting. period. And oh yes i could decorate around that with EASE!
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[User Picture]From: noodles101
2010-10-21 09:10 pm (UTC)
Lucky you, you can buy prints of it on Amazon :)
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[User Picture]From: cadillac_angel
2010-10-20 10:40 am (UTC)
slave to the cock, clearly. i kind of want it...
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[User Picture]From: starphotographs
2010-10-20 11:48 am (UTC)
It looks like he woke up with his dick in some kind of safe/chastity belt thing and is trying to figure out what to make of this.

I... Just can't get over that someone painted that. D: For it to exist, someone, somewhere, had to really think it should.
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