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Thrift Shop Horrors

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It must be BUNNIES!!! [Apr. 7th, 2007|09:24 am]
Thrift Shop Horrors


...Or maybe midgets.

Happiest of Easters to those that celebrate it, and to those that don't, well, welcome Spring, and with it, all the trappings of a fertility festival. In particular, that most fertile of critters, rabbits! And such a variety of rabbits!


The word that springs immediately to mind is "necrotic," at least for me. I saw a roadkill deer that was covered with that powdery white stuff. I wouldn't have taken that deer home with me, and mr. bunny is going to have to stay on the shelf, too, even if he is only $1.99.

If you flash-froze the cadbury bunny, you'd get this guy.


What next, what next? So many choices! How 'bout Stay-Fresh Bunny under clingfilm?


"I...can't breath..."

"You'll stay fresh forever and ever in there. Saran Wrap will make sure that EVERY day is Easter day, and long will the chocolate eggs flow."

"You're suffocating my cuteness."

"You'll be fine. You'll get back up in three days, right?"

"That's Jesus. I'm just a fuzzy bunny rabbit. My top comes off to hold candy, you're thinking of the Messiah again."

"Which was the one with the long ears that lays chocolate eggs?"

"The Easter bunny...I think."


Ia! The bunny hungers! He tears the ears from other rabbits to satisfy the gypsy curse that stole his own!


And what says "Happy Easter" better than a Frankensteinien abomination, two rabbits stitched together in an unholy bunny union? See how they stagger forth to fill the baskets of the horrified kiddies with eggs decorated a sticky red, sometimes boiled, sometimes their yellowed fluids spill through the wicker baskets, sometimes the shell breaks to reveal what might have one day been a rooster or hen, but now...best not to dwell on it.

Happy Easter, children.


"Come, little boys and girls. Have some of my Easter pie. Oh, no, I couldn't tell you that, it's my secret ingredient."


Wax-filled rabbit. What more is there to say? What tools do you use to hollow one out?


Well, I'm really not sure about even putting this one in this community. It was self-evidently made to be bad.

Is it really a "horror" if the artist, to use the term loosely, obviously set forth to make something so perfectly dreadful? Is this a put-on, or the real deal? A sincere attempt at Easter glad tidings by the justifiably institutionalized, or a sulky teenager forced to make some "handicrafts" at a family fun-night? Hard to say. I think the superfluous third nostril lends to the latter interpretation. But again, let the reader decide.

And for the record, I'm sorry.

*cries softly*


What did they DO to this poor rabbit? What is it holding? What abomination is going to hatch forth from that cracking shell? Eeww.


Putting the "Eeeee!" in Easter, this guy really...really...needs to get marked down and remaindered. Hate should never be the primary motivator in a hand-crafted item.


Wide, frightening and alien eyes, jarring yellow coat, cracked egg and vaguely hitlerian whiskers. Splotched and irregular paint job. None of which is quite as creepy as the extra nostril--


I'm thinking about making this guy the new community icon. My fear, then, would be that we'd never have a new community member. Decisions, decisions.

There's your "happy Easter" for you. I hate everyone and I'm going to make rabbit stew for dinner.


[User Picture]From: fleacircus
2007-04-07 03:51 pm (UTC)
The first bunny just reminds me of that guy who had fingernail-like growths all over his hands, which is the most disturbing picture I have ever seen on the internet, which is saying a lot.


To anyone who's already seen that picture-- I am so very very sorry for bringing it up.
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[User Picture]From: the_icequeen
2007-04-07 03:57 pm (UTC)
ha! I thought exactly the same thing!!
I just posted a link to that in my reply. I decided it would be better to do it that way, than to post his actual pictures.
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[User Picture]From: itsascam
2007-04-07 03:53 pm (UTC)
Absolutely love your commentary
I don't think I've ever said that! It brings me lolz every single time

I made rabbit stew last night :)
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[User Picture]From: spottylogic
2007-04-07 07:31 pm (UTC)
I've never had rabbit before--is it basically chicken? And thank you very much!
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[User Picture]From: alwaysamommy
2007-04-07 03:55 pm (UTC)
My mom had a plaster cast just like the last rabbit, but she painted it WAY different and it came out cute. This was definitely intentional.
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[User Picture]From: the_icequeen
2007-04-07 03:56 pm (UTC)
It looks like that first bunny has been hanging around with this
guy a little too much!
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[User Picture]From: straydogstarbck
2007-04-07 10:42 pm (UTC)
Ohgod, that is by far the most horrible thing I've seen in a long time.

Thank you, now I have to go burn my eyes. D:
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[User Picture]From: tearsthatsear
2007-04-07 03:58 pm (UTC)
The bunny with the knife is just wrong in so many ways...

But it doesn't hold a candle to the evil, jaundice bunny. WTF is up with that thing? It is SO icon worthy. And if people cannot appreciate the humor, then they shouldn't join anyway. It may even draw some in, if not just to see what the hell that icon is...

Happy Holiday!
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From: broken_angel
2007-04-07 04:02 pm (UTC)
Ok, the first one looks like he wants to get me nice and drunk and then have his way with me. The two stitched together are already gettin' busy and just got caught.
And that one has a KNIFE. He looks like he just made his best friend into a pie and is now innocently trying to serve it to his dinner party guests.

I don't even know what to say about the last one.
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[User Picture]From: contentlove
2007-04-07 04:17 pm (UTC)
He looks like he made his sister's ears into a pie. I mean, look at his ears - see the resemblance?
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[User Picture]From: contentlove
2007-04-07 04:16 pm (UTC)
Fungus. That first bunny has a fungal growth, no question about it. And as for the bunny with the "pie" that looks very similar to its own ears, well, I can't even go there. Because, well, that bunny has a knife.
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[User Picture]From: spottylogic
2007-04-08 01:51 pm (UTC)
The blue bunny really needs to be put down for its own good. You can see its pain reflected in its eyes.
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From: romani123
2007-04-07 05:19 pm (UTC)
The last one looks like something from Sanford and SON.
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[User Picture]From: spottylogic
2007-04-07 07:33 pm (UTC)
But in the show, it would turn out to be incredibly valuable, except that the son threw it away the day before, so everyone has to go searching for it.

Have you ever heard "Steptoe and Son"? It's the British sitcom Sanford and Son's based on. Some of the episodes are almost word-for-word derived. It's kinda strange to hear.
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[User Picture]From: spottylogic
2007-04-08 01:50 pm (UTC)
*nodnod* I totally agree.
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[User Picture]From: badmoods
2007-04-08 12:12 am (UTC)
Ia! The bunny hungers! He tears the ears from other rabbits to satisfy the gypsy curse that stole his own!

oh my !! this ia f**king hilarious!
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From: amethest
2007-04-08 03:04 am (UTC)
In other news, rabbid ceramic rabbits, angered by recent media hubbub concerning their cuter live breathern being adopted as gifts and then abandoned, rose up today en mass in protest.

One witness was heard to say, "The glint in thier painted eyes, the twitch of their tri-nostrils, the eggs and knives they clutched! Dear god, the horror! I'll never sleep again!"
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[User Picture]From: spottylogic
2007-04-08 01:52 pm (UTC)
Hee hee..."tri-nostrils..."
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[User Picture]From: ladymalchav
2007-04-08 04:22 am (UTC)
If I'd seen the painted bunny, I'd've bought it and put it in the room of my first baby.
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[User Picture]From: spottylogic
2007-04-08 01:52 pm (UTC)
Not planning on having terribly sane children, are you?
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[User Picture]From: checkmatemydear
2007-07-14 07:25 pm (UTC)
uh... a good majority of those bunnies look as though they are plotting to kill me in my sleep. thanks for the next seven days' worth of nightmares this will cause me.
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[User Picture]From: spottylogic
2007-07-14 08:28 pm (UTC)
We should keep Easter in our hearts all year round :)
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[User Picture]From: rimmie
2007-07-20 12:17 am (UTC)
I have iconed your bunny. He was much too awesome to pass up. I hope you don't mind.
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[User Picture]From: spottylogic
2007-07-20 01:47 am (UTC)
I was kind of hoping someone would :) Enjoy!
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[User Picture]From: unusablesignal
2007-07-20 12:40 am (UTC)
It must be BUNNIES!!!
...Or maybe midgets.

Buffy musical episode! Hahahahahaaaaaa
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[User Picture]From: spottylogic
2007-07-20 01:47 am (UTC)
Yay! Someone both got the reference and responded :)
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