Thrift Shop Horrors

Where does all the stuff go?

Tue, 21 May 2013 15:23:36 GMT

Her is an interesting take on thrift items.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/pictureshow/2012/12/05/166438857/are-you-done-with-that-photographing-the-results-of-your-good-will

Encore Resales & Thrift Market - Pelham, Alabama

Mon, 20 May 2013 04:32:25 GMT

Ever feel like you’re forgetting something? Maybe you feel....incomplete? Like your life is unbalanced?

I’ve been accumulating this batch since before Christmas…

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:19:47 GMT

St. Vincent de Paul (Fremont, CA) never disappoints!

The fun starts before we even get in the door. This was part of the Christmas window decor. Um, does “crapwell” mean what I think it means?

Another time of year, this thing in the front window. It’s a photo of a lawyer’s office (judging from the books). Who the hell needed a photo of a lawyer’s office enlarged and framed? But what I’m really wondering is…did the same lawyer then hang this in their office, and take a picture of that? It’s lawyers all the way down!

Is this horrific? I kinda think so. The 1980s called, they want their art back. (What’s funny is that it was spotted in an entirely unrelated part of the store…like someone was hauling this around, suddenly thought better and just abandoned it right there. That, or the shame of their spouse/S.O. totally mocking them.)

Yeah, thrift store clutter, no surprise. What I did find interesting though…some thrift stores sort items like clothes by color, others by size…this one was sorting porcelain tchochkes by species. A first!

A treasured keepsake. But not that treasured.

Sad-eyed orphans! But wait…

MORE sad-eyed orphans! They had like a metric ton of these cards. (I didn’t think to look inside to see if there’s anything printed, or if they’re all blank.)

Just what I always wanted! A vacuum canister of SOMEBODY ELSE’S DANDER!

Saving the best for last…

A jock strap. One very. obviously. used. JOCK STRAP. I have no words. D:

I found at some thrift stores~~

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:19:31 GMT

Fulton & Oswego

Mon, 13 May 2013 16:03:28 GMT

These coconut cups are not convincing in their bid for "fun"....

Do I just have a really dirty mind or does someone else know what "Clive's 'Real' Milk Pail" is supposed to hold?

What the heck is it! Doesn't matter, I bought it anyway.

Creepy Critters

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 14:33:38 GMT

Found at the Fulton, NY Salvation Army on Saturday April 27th, 2013

I think they are raccoons but what happened to those cute black masks they always wear?

Inbred kitty mugs.

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 22:46:12 GMT

Follow the fake cut to my journal for more.

An Offering

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:32:37 GMT

...to consume your souls.

It's Been A Long Strange Thrift

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 03:53:24 GMT

I had devised a rather elaborate story of being kidnapped by intelligent turkeys and living a life of simplicity, scratching up corn in the Carolina wilds amongst my feathered brethren to explain why I basically vanished from this community many years ago, after one lame post and a few lame-r comments. But about the time I started typing up the details of the great Butterball Thanksgiving massacre I realized it would probably just be easier (and uhm...saner-sounding) to say I'd been a broke lazyass and hadn't been within two miles of a Goodwill store with a camera in a long long time. Which is true.

But lately there's been some great opportunities to go a-thrifting in my area and despite myself I am drawn once more to Questionable Taste's clarion call. For instance, we've got a gigantic antiques mall closing in October that has the kind of affordable (and unaffordable) horror that makes you weep with joy. I plan on visiting it frequently over the next few months.

Today however, with new camera in hand, I found myself drawn back to an old haunt, one I had not visited in many years

On the wrong side of the railroad tracks a few miles outside of Conway, SC, it stands surrounded by miles of open farmland: an old rural school. Once the delighted laughter of children rang up and down its hallowed halls of knowledge. Now only the horrified shrieks of "DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT AND HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR IT?" echo through rusting metal shelves and across dust-laden wooden floors.

Some call it Floyd's. Others call it The Gateway to Eternal Despair (And Fabulous Low Prices!)

Floyd's literally has just about anything for sale. Including Jesus! He was also there last time I visited but they've done some cleaning and organizing since then so the whole place looks quite different (I found a dead lizard in a box of bargain items on one visit. I'm not sure what their asking price was for it...)

Death of a Salesman doll? I dunno. It's kinda hard to tell from this shot but this guy was leaning forward at almost a 90 degree angle. I'm not sure if it was intentional or accidental but he looks like he's either in the process of cutting a big one or hurling. " Not *HURRRK* now junior, daddy's trying to purge himself of Mommy's meatloaf..."

" Hon-hon-hon! What better way to remind yourself of Gay Paree' zen with a Eiffel Tower full of zee patriotic decades-old jelly beans? It is how you say, as authentique' as my outraaaageous French acceent! Croissants and other fake french exclamations, hon-hon-hon! " *blasts 'La Marseillaise'*

"Yeah well my Hog is so enviromentally-friendly it's biodegradeable!"

Yes that's a life-size Harley carved out of wood. Woody the Wizard shows real concern for your safety and reminds you to wear your pine-bark helmet while driving

SHERK. PLS.

I don't know about ya'll but it's always been my fondest dream to pretend I'm rocking out with my two favorite dead airbrush-painted singers.

"Buy me or GTFO" B{

And speaking of awesome paintings, allow me to introduce...

BULLER THER KIRD

WURRET URP

BERTCH CURSIDDER

DURC HURRIDER

THUR SURRDURNCE KIRD

AN JURSSER JURMES

All of these were apparently hand-painted, painful to look at (literally I mean c'mon I had to back up against the wall and crane my head up just to see them, they were so freakin' huge they could easily cover my entire bathroom wall) There were more but I only had time to snap pictures of these.

By this time a nice little break outside looked pretty good to me. Ah yes...just step out on the deck here and...

uh....I uh....

Well maybe I'll just sit down here and...

AASDFGH:LKJHGAHHHHHH OK GOING INSIDE NOW.

Surely though I couldn't stumble across anything worse than a crocobench or the Wide Wide West paintings, could I?

So ok, you guys remember that old story about the kids messing around in the Carnival funhouse right? And they're just all like "Hahah let's push this stuffed hanging dummy around a little because we're kids and we like hitting stuff hahahaa" and they are swinging the dummy around and then whoopsie the arm comes off and the one kid picks the arm up and looks at it and says "Hey when did they start making carnival dummies with bones?" and the others are like "IDK " and

Yeah these totally didn't remind me of that story-that-was-actually-true...

Nope.

Not a bit.

I mean c'mon they're just hideous realistically-proportioned, life-size mannequins with blank expressionless faces and they totally don't look like little dead mummified kids, that are all mildewed and nasty-looking and and and that Michael Myers mask that someone decided to put over one of their heads? that completely doesn't make an already-creepy life-sized mannequin that could or could not possibly be a mummified dead little kid any creepier amirite? I mean it's not like it could possibly be the cleverly-disguised victims planted there by a crazed serial killer WHO MIGHT EVEN NOW BE WATCHING ME MAYBE FROM BEHIND THAT CHIFFAROBE OH GODS DID THAT DOOR MOVE

...Yeah completely didn't scare me crapless.

Thus ended my adventure in Floyd's. But before I bring my photographic correspondence to its conclusion I'll just leave you folks with this one last pleasant image...

Sweet dreams! *cue Halloween music*

scary things I found at some thrift stores

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 05:24:21 GMT

So I was at the thrift store sales Friday when I realized I hadn't posted my photos from the last two months. Oops.

A box of some sort.

Behind you!

Egad.

I've had nightmares like this..

Oh, fuck you.

I would have bought this but I have nowhere to put it.

Come here, children, and eat my BRAINS.

The next month..

Hi!

Nightmare bunny.

The three wise hamsters.

Realistic chewed plastic banana!

I wish I had someplace to put this thing.

Grumpy Cat figurine.

Mommy?

What's the deal with the paint job?

Also there's this:

Outside of book.

Inside of book.

Found inside book.

Anyone in the market for some sweaters?

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 03:00:21 GMT

Found these in Cure Thrift Shop in NYC while browsing before a concert on the next block.

I'm not too sure what that loud pattern is supposed to be.... but it's not worth the $150 price tag! Yes - you read that correctly - $150.

If that price is too high for your budget, how about this? Everyone's a star in NY! Only $75.

I don't know who decided that these were thrift store prices, but I suppose that's New York City for you....

Savers fun!

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 02:52:38 GMT

This is a small batch of semi-horrors. It's mostly stuff that I found amusing. First up: Hey, remember the 80's?

Guess the picture never came. Fherry Christmas to us all!

This isn't a horror in and of itself. I actually thought it was quite nice once I figured out that Santa wasn't chugging. I'm not sure what's up with his camel toe, though.

Thoughts on this one: (a) where would one procure film for this? (b) Five bucks? Really?

I'm warning you on this next one. Look away, those whose delicate constitutions can't take it.

Found this on the "uniforms" rack, conveniently located next to "intimate apparel."

Wonder if Twilight's popularity is waning, now that their stuff is making it into the thrift stores.

These next few are from before Christmas. I just didn't get a chance to post them.

These are cousins of the Trilogy of Terror doll.

He's doing that dance that Uma Thurman and John Travolta did in Pulp Fiction.

Maybe it's just me who finds clocks creepy.

I'm not even sure what this is supposed to be.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.

A fun, wtf find.

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 12:45:07 GMT

It's kind of a horror that I found this...but mostly it's very wtf:

It's one of those oddities I thought I'd actually buy. For 89 cents at Goodwill (On sale from 1.19), that's not bad.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Vaguely Relevant Comic

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 12:44:51 GMT

(From The Non-Adventures of Wonderella)

Mary and Jesus and Monsters, oh my!

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:45:02 GMT

I regretted not buying this very white Mary and Jesus...but of course they were gone when I went back.

Whose child is this? This one struck me as even sadder than the framed family photos that somehow wind up in thrift stores.

Sorry guys, it actually is about boats.

....and I too have jumped onto the bandwagon of adding monsters to thrift store paintings. Found both of these paintings at the local Goodwill and added appropriately colored & textured monsters to them. The first is painted in oils and the second in acrylics.

Thrift Horror: Media Edition

Sat, 16 Feb 2013 18:48:57 GMT

Well it's been a while, Thrift Horror, I've missed you.
I'm going to go off on a slightly unusual tangent - I'd going to eschew the traditional deformed clowns and suggestive shell art, for the entirely two-dimensional.
So, without further delay, here's thrift horror, the multi-media edition.

My housemate actually bought this and watched it. It's a compilation of car-crashes. I was expecting some kind of Hollywood-style American accent voice-overs, but it encompasses a wide range of English regional accents. After all, what's better that watching a car veer off a road? Watching a car veer off a road while some guy with a broad Yorkshire accent laconically observes.
I'd have thought a video entirely of cars crashing would be a niche market thing, but please note that this is volume 3.
But this somewhat grim subject matter does come with a happy ending: the disclaimer on the top-right corner reads "This video does not contain any fatal accidents." I don't think I've ever encountered a video that needed that disclaimer, though...

Where to begin with this movie? The contorted font which makes the title hard to decipher? The lurid art style of the cover? The boobs? Ah, the boobs.
The back cover tells me the movie's all about some ancient undead sorcerer, who presumably (though the blurb doesn't specify) has a spell which will make young ladies' clothes disappear. My LARP character spent ages learning sorcery, and all she got was a spell which would vaporise a living person (though presumably not their clothes). Evidently I was researching the wrong stuff all along.
Also, the ancient undead sorcerer appears to have run out of ammo - the hands sticking up at the bottom of the image look like he's in a first-person-shooter without a weapon equipped.
When I got home, I found a tiny, tiny sentence on the back: "the images on the sleeve may not necessarily correspond with the film." Wow - I take back the thing about never having encountered a video which needed a disclaimer before.
Please note: I have not watched the actual DVD. I don't want to sully my mental image of it.

I've never heard of that band before. Wait - it's not a band? It's actual sounds of actual lungs? It gives you a choice of locations, healthy and sick. Sadly, I don't have a record-player, so I will never know the sound of an expiratory wheeze heard over the right upper chest of a patient suffering from asthma (track 7).

thrift store pics

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 22:53:07 GMT

There wasn't as much weirdness at this month's thrift store sales--I think they were still pretty cleaned out for last month. However, I DID find some doozies:

It's open on top. And HAIRY.

I had to take this picture twice because my camera said they blinked.

All right, who's been peeing on the cat?

This one is so bad there's no point in monstering it.

Speaking of monstering, my brother and I have desecrated an actual painting for you:

You can bid on it here.

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 11:12:52 GMT

thrift store finds

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 08:54:06 GMT

I am not going to the thrift store sales next month, as I imagine it will be a nightmare. Lord knows I have enough to do, but I'll really wonder about what I'm missing out on.

Check out this weird stuff I saw this month!

Is this a pitcher or a vase, and which would be less disturbing?

I'm sorry, but that is NOT where you nurse.

Meanwhile, in the "silent auction" case...

Poor sad bear.

Why are its eyes all bloodshot?

Nothing more festive than slutty Santa frogs!

Ugh.

This caricature of the Queen of England seems overly cruel.

As you can see, the Shelf of Ethnic Stereotypes was dispersed throughout the store this month.

Silently judging you, clown.

What a great way to show your respect for native American culture! Oh, wait..

Gah!

Also, my brother and I desecrated another print from a thrift store. I'm actually rather proud of this one..

So you can buy it here.

Ho Ho Hoh Nooooo!

Sat, 03 Nov 2012 22:35:31 GMT

So, kids, after a long hiatus, we're back with fresh horrors! We thought that Goodwill had dried up, but...

First off, what do you think of when you think "snowglobe"? Idyllic villages, sledding children, perhaps a chorus of carolers?

WRONG. There is no vacation for Chris and Sheva, only a horde of angry Majini (not included with snowglobe)! As for why they made a Resident Evil snowglobe, you got me.

>.<

The whiplash I got between "innocent child in sleeping cap" and "robo-dog that looks like a Terminator model" nearly yanked my brain in half. I couldn't find a date on it, so I'm not sure if this was made recently as a throwback, or if it was made in the past by a psychic sculptor who could see robot dogs being developed, or--ow, there goes my brain again.

o.O

This is either the face of everyone's grandpa, or Groucho Marx. In either case, he doesn't look happy to have been turned into a reindeer without time to pluck his eyebrows.

o.o

Separated at birth? YOU be the judge.

0.0

And finally, Halloween's passed, thankfully. Nothing there past the pumpkin bucket that--

Send help please

Groovy..

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 22:31:24 GMT

This was some sort of candle.. the red mice(?) have really long wicks sticking out of the tops of their heads, and they're surrounded by psychedelic mushrooms and holly leaves:

Thrift store finds

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 13:36:40 GMT

Last week had the third Friday of the moth, and you know what that means--sales!

Here's what I found (scariest first):

Unfortunately, this got all scraped up on the way home. I am sad.

This is huge and there's a small hole in it.

..Kitties?

KITTY. ..Bear?

The Halloween.. bunny.. umm..

GAAAH.

A bear shelf.
Stop hitting me.

The Night of the Lepus started with the Giant Carrot Conspiracy.

Her blue mustache makes me giggle.

??????????????

I would have bought this, but I have nowhere to put it..

This is where your boxes with crap glued to them wind up.

This was a project I considered for my blog! I didn't do it because i didn't want to buy grout. It's even better than I imagined.

This is the appropriate expression, as far as I'm concerned.

And here are some thrift store prints with added monsters:

There are dings in the glass on this one.

Nuclear plate

Mon, 22 Oct 2012 18:19:46 GMT

Two years ago, I posted this classy commemorative plate.
It now hangs in pride of place above my toilet (yeah, apparently my partner felt it spoiled the newly decorated hall in some bizarre way).
So when my mum called up and happily said "I got you a present - it'll look great with your Thirty Years of Cyprus Telecommunications plate," I felt a little worried.
When she came down, I immediately realised this put poor Cyprus in the shade...

So here we have my local friendly nuclear power-station. And a bunch of other British nuclear power-stations. All looking amazingly like... ...well, large concrete boxes, because that's pretty much how they build nuclear power-stations. I apologise for the dingy photo, but the real thing is rather dingy. All the images are a dingy brown, with tasteful red swirly writing.
The scary thing is that this came ready-fitted with a plate hanger, and had quite a build-up of dust - but only on the top - meaning it has been hung up somewhere for quite some time. Maybe in some other Thrifthorror wannabe's loo.
The weird thing is Mum lives a long way from me, so the fact the plate she found shows the power-station just down the road is a huge coincidence. Obviously the plate was meant to be mine.
Oh, and this now means I have two ugly and bizarre commemorative plates. That makes it a collection...

I guess my local store...

Mon, 15 Oct 2012 23:53:05 GMT

...had to make up for the fact that there's never anything creepy at any of the thriftstores I go to.

BEHOLD.

Yes, there are two of them. Because one wasn't enough.

Goodwill Hunting

Mon, 15 Oct 2012 22:24:12 GMT

Well not nearly as interesting as my only other post, here is my feeble offering.

[S&M Poodle beckons you]

I promise, this is how I found them. o_O

The best part of waking up is an Elder God in your cup

Despite their broken necks, the tacky cat clan silently judge you

world's ugliest ottoman?

Technically we found this dude in a sad lump on the side of the road outside of Goodwill...but eh.

We are Frog. We are Legion

& then there was this...

Husband tells me it's a really bloody hentai. Wikipedia tells me it's the most recognized adult anime in the world.

The sad monkey & the poodle came home with us.