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Thrift Shop Horrors

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A few very questionable items [Mar. 26th, 2014|12:33 am]
Thrift Shop Horrors


[mood |away laughing on a fast camel]

What compels people to make awful sculptures of children?

Their eyes were just empty sockets.

Unseeing, they gaze into the distance, contemplating the ineptitude of their creator...

In stark contrast to the pair above, the PUG BOWL ARMY has more eyes than it could ever possibly need:

Want your kids to behave? Aim the unrelenting stare and creepy smile of one of these at them!

Marshalls is sort of a rich people's thrift store, right? Right? No? Ok, bear with me...

Yes, you read correctly, "FAPS and WAPS". "Faps of candy in waps of color and bursts of fappy wap flavor". Hmm, not sure I want to eat anything with 'fap' in the title. Might be a mistake.

I found this old ad in a yearbook. "Friendliness", hmmm, I don't think that's what I'd call friendliness. I love the command 'Have a Coke'. HAVE A COKE OR YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.

And the crowning jewel:

I don't think I can add anything to the brothers' statement, there. Ahem.


[User Picture]From: rose_cat
2014-03-26 07:18 am (UTC)
Oh, brother...

(also, see icon)
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[User Picture]From: ziggythewalrus
2014-03-28 01:41 am (UTC)
Hurr hurr hurr
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[User Picture]From: sewaddicted
2014-03-26 08:54 am (UTC)
FAPs & waps, bahahahahahahahaha
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[User Picture]From: theidolhands
2014-03-26 11:06 am (UTC)
The least you could've done is give those soulless children a few faps.

You're right, there was nothing to be added to that album. lol
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[User Picture]From: fanbot
2014-03-26 01:21 pm (UTC)
It's Old Greg!

If the nose wasn't green I'd rather like the pug bowl.
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[User Picture]From: ziggythewalrus
2014-03-28 01:49 am (UTC)
D'ya like Baileys?

Seems the pugs are pretty popular, actually!
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[User Picture]From: nyxalinth
2014-03-26 01:43 pm (UTC)
I want the pugs!
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[User Picture]From: kittymink
2014-03-26 02:41 pm (UTC)
I want the pug bowl army too!

Faps and waps, hahahahaha. With fappy wap flavor! Somebpdy needs to send these to Ashens on youtube.
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[User Picture]From: lady_astrocat
2014-03-26 07:19 pm (UTC)
Haha, yes! Dr. Ashen would have a field day with that one!
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[User Picture]From: kittymink
2014-03-26 09:12 pm (UTC)
Haha, Chef Excellence!
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[User Picture]From: ziggythewalrus
2014-03-28 01:43 am (UTC)
Feel free to share the photo with anyone you like!
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[User Picture]From: kittymink
2014-03-28 01:52 am (UTC)
Ashens needs the actual thing though. So he can try it on camera! In the case of "food", this means eating it. Or trying to! Aw, I want him to taste the fappy waps!


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[User Picture]From: ziggythewalrus
2014-03-28 02:12 am (UTC)
Ah, damn, now I want him to try them, too. If he wasn't across the pond from me, I'd totally send them.
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[User Picture]From: brunettepet
2014-03-26 05:48 pm (UTC)
Those eyeless children sculptures are everywhere. Why were they ever made in the first place?

That album cover is super creepy but the album itself is very good and is very collectible (if the vinyl is in good shape).
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[User Picture]From: ziggythewalrus
2014-03-28 01:45 am (UTC)
Ah, thanks for mentioning that. Might have to go grab it if the music is decent. I like collecting weird album covers, but it sometimes feels like a waste if the music is crap.
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[User Picture]From: saferindreams
2014-03-26 08:52 pm (UTC)
The top two are a part of a series. I've seen a few of them doing different things. Holding a fish, playing a banjo. It's always the same boy and girl though, with the same soulless look.
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[User Picture]From: hokuton_punch
2014-03-26 10:16 pm (UTC)
Faps and waps sound like a kind of candy I've had, but the kind I've had were called Zotz - which is much less creepy...
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[User Picture]From: julietvalcouer
2014-03-27 02:43 am (UTC)
I have to admit, I'd totally have bought one of those pug things....
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[User Picture]From: pitbullgirl65
2014-03-27 08:51 pm (UTC)
Gah. I deleted a my last comment because of the link.
The album cover belongs in Nick Difonzo's book The Worst Album Covers Ever

If you really want a treat: Image Google worst album covers, NSFW. :D
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[User Picture]From: ziggythewalrus
2014-03-28 01:47 am (UTC)
Hahahaha, oh god, thanks for the rec. My eyes are suffering what feels like 3rd degree burns now.
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