My eyes...they burn...

Okay, there's nothing terribly upsetting about this guy, right?



The eyebrows are a little bit creepy, and he looks altogether too eager to make your acquaintance--and he's nearly a foot long, at that stage you really should think of making the transition from "plastic miniature" to "stuffed animal," but maybe he was made for a child with a delicate digestive system, easily rinsed off to hide his shame. His eyebrows are weirdly dark and glossy, and the same color as his nose, and overall he looks a bit like someone you'd expect to encounter sneaking furtively out of the $.25 peepshow arcade.

Oh, no,




This is the bear you've been warned about--eager to corrupt innocent young kewpie dolls to service his base physical needs. No doubt he has a harem of PVC-headed, tousel-haired sex slaves. You can see it in his smirk.

"You look young, unbroken, and you have a plastic head. Let's see if you can do anything about...this." (Zzzzip! thump.)

I'm sure he'd be even happier if he was anatomically correct. On my limited honor, I did not set up this shot. They were that way when I found them.

Found at Texas Thrift, near I35 and 51st by the Famous Christmas Store, Austin, 9/05.